do you ever think…what if…if only…should have…

I don’t mean risk-reward analysis, product development discovery or problem solving techniques. More like that dreamy thought process that says your life would be so different IF something in the past had been different. Maybe its thoughts of what your parents should have done. Or if you were born in another country…another body….another family. How about if only your spouse or children would do or be different….THEN… curly-straight, short-tall, rich-poor, skinny-fat… The list can go on and our imaginations too. Do you find that process helpful? How does it help you personally?

From reading and processing over the last several years, I’ve found that I was doing so many “what if…” comparisons and storing up blame, anger, regret and even hatred from things that happened in my life. Life wasn’t fair. I was using those thoughts to defend myself, to give myself excuses and to sit in a pool of self-pity. I was following what others said about me, suggested for me or even what I imagined they might be thinking. I was staying in a place stuck and I was giving others the key to my life. (I still have moments but work at recognizing them.)

I found a new way to use those words, dreams and ideas. To take a bit more responsibility for my own life. I don’t mean in a selfish or extreme attitude of “you don’t matter” but looking and saying, “My life now and my future are worth something and I am the person responsible for that.”

My past is that….past – over – done and I can’t redo it. BUT my present, my future, my purpose is to LIVE AS ME. It’s been a process to find out how to do that for myself. Each of us will have a little different experience with this but it is very worth the reflecting, surrendering and deciding to use “What if….” to look ahead instead of the past.

Be true to you because you truly do matter!


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