where are you

On many days I’m not sure of my direction.

I think a regular 8-5 job, family, and scheduled commitments helps us to have a sense of stability and purpose. I consider God as my new boss and He doesn’t always giving me regular hours or work. It is both liberating and scary at the same time. Especially with the non-regular income.

Culturally, America and many developed countries focus on future things like – saving, planning, controlling. Historically and in developing countries it is much more of “today we have this – today we do that”. We create our reality with these thoughts and actions. Whether a good reality or not. I felt my future focus was a form of bondage – I would have thoughts like… “I CAN’T do THIS because of THAT.” “I must do this for the future.”

I have since found a love affair with nature and unplugging. My mind does still recognize and many days long for that schedule, future and control and I have times where living day-by-day with this prior programming of mine is very difficult. Most often I am saying WOW… I am finding so much joy and freedom. Like the painting above – “New Discovery”. It’s like a constant celebration and gift opening! (Much of it was drudgery before.)

I do realize that again…worldly logic says finding your comfort zone is the best thing but I can only say from my experience that stretching those lines is bringing new insights, new possibilities, new LIFE that is more complete and full than I ever thought or imagined. Like a second childhood of discovery! (Ephesians 3 shares a lot of that promised to us.)

So for this afternoon – I’m off to create some egg rolls. I recently learned this so we’ll see how they turn out. If good, I’ll share with friends and family. If not so good, I’ll just eat myself and wonder about what I might be missing in the recipe or in my life that makes me not enjoy. Hope your appetite for new things is a bit uncomfortable.


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