light and dark

Journal 1/9/11 part 3

Counseling and the 5 levels of communication. A counselor changed my understanding of people and myself when he explained those levels.

No wonder I didn’t have what I called really good friends. Not many wanted to dig in with me or wander dark shores. It was about sharing good times more than bad.

Our minds get so accustomed to seeing things as our local culture (family, friends) would see. We don’t dare step into new territory. We don’t dare to feel things that others would not understand.

They are there no matter if understood.
If we ignore…they turn sour.
If we adjust to them…we get deformed.

The problems or dark periods start to reshape us in a way that is not true to who God made us. We find – maybe I should say I found I was letting my life be shaped by my culture. Seeking acceptance in it and feeling I needed to go with the flow and not muddy the waters.

I found how wrong that really is.
Wasted years. Yes.
Missed life. Sure.
BUT God used it for wonderful things. He showed that His mercy and guidance are there when we are ready. When I was ready.

I KNOW HE brought me out from the pit.
I KNOW HE gave me new life.
I KNOW HE shows me the way to go.
I KNOW HE guarantees HE is with me through all things.

That even in darkness, doubt, confusion, or loneliness HE holds me close.

When the darkness surrounds us…His Light can shine through. Otherwise we don’t always notice He is there.

6 thoughts on “light and dark

  1. Aunt Melanie says:

    This post shows such a depth of psychological insight and spiritual maturity. I fully appreciate the experiences of darkness and deformity, and trying to seek acceptance from those who settle for the false security of bland communication. I have encountered people like that all my life: from the little girls on the playground to co-workers in the office, and in churches as well. Yes, it seemed like a waste and it was definitely torment, but it was a journey with an ultimate destination nevertheless. Excellent post, Judi: I do not know how you can write like this on a daily basis!

    • There were journal entries from last January. I conformed for so long it took quite awhile to find the LIGHT in me again. Another old book for you A.M. “God Guides” by Mary Geegh…I don’t know if online though. peace to you

  2. I don’t know, Judi. Maybe not wasted – not really. Our God who can use ALL things for good for those who believe may redeem those years is the years to come in ways only He can imagine! 😉
    This was a lovely, vulnerable post. Thank you for sharing a part of yourself. God bless you as He holds you close.

    • HE does that in remarkable ways. I’ve traveled most of life unaware of His grace and presence but He sure is making up for it now that I know Him. God’s blessings to you Debbie.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s